A Musical Cleansing

Music is always a touchy subject. It evokes strong opinions and feelings. What is the greatest combination of notes and instruments to you may be like fingers on a chalk board to another. You may be moved to tears, spirit soaring as a melody builds, while the person next to you has all the emotion of a cold bowl of plain oatmeal. Music is not neutral.

Christmas is by far my favorite genre. I think I have more Christmas CD's (remember those?) than any other style. I usually start listening in September and continue through February. On ridiculously hot days in summer I will even play a few songs - a blast of musical air conditioning.

For those of you that think I've just described a musical hell, that's fine you cold hearted Grinch! I'm kidding. It's the beauty of music that it feeds the needs of the listener, performer, writer. It nourishes our souls in a way nothing else can.

For me personally, it allows me to reconnect with my inner self when the outside world demands an exterior that wears like armor. When that armor has become too heavy, too clumsy, too burdensome, I put on the most emotive, haunting melodies of Christmas songs and let it bathe my soul. I wash away the world's dirt, soaking my heart until it is clean enough to re-emerge and fight another day.

This year has required a lot of musical baths.

As I write I'm listening to Peter Hollens - December Song on repeat.

The tears come easy this evening.

Comments

My Stupid Mental Health

This meme makes me laugh every time I see it. Eagles walking is hilarious - they look like they're wearing floofy pants. Also, that's pretty much been my attitude when it comes to taking care of my physical and mental health. So, not great. The last five or so years has brought about a revolution in the way society views mental health. We take care of our bodies, we should also take care of our brains. As Martha Stewart would say, "It's a good thing." The difficulty arises, I believe, when there is so much emphasis all at once that instead of it being a "good thing" it becomes another task. The pressure of adding ANOTHER thing to the "to do" list that feels overly complicated and unrealistically time consuming. And if you don't get it checked off that list, it becomes a source of shame. "What, you didn't spend 30 minutes in mindful meditation? What's wrong with you?" It's called a freaking LIFE! On the flip side, ...

I Barely Said Hello...

I miss my Dad. Actually I miss both my Dads. But I miss them differently. The Dad that raised me died 9 years ago after a long illness. I lived close by so was heavily involved in his life, his care. He had time with my children - they adored him. He had been sick and deteriorating for so long that by the time he died I was, in a way, prepared. I grieved hard, but we had so many memories, so much history. The Dad that gave me life, died 9 days ago. I've only been in contact with him for 7 1/2 months. We texted and spoke on the phone a lot in that time. I visited for a long weekend. We went through pictures. We shared our stories. We grieved the moments in life that we missed. We bared our souls. We made peace with past decisions. We were ready to move on, to create memories. A future. He died exactly one month to the day that we met in person. I don't even have a good picture of us. Before the comments start, I am in...

Breathe....Celebrate the Small

When life presents us with major upheaval it can be difficult to see beyond the chaos. Easier still, to fall into survival mode, focusing so much on the "Big Picture" we fail to notice anything. Or worse, so focused on minutia that we can't see beyond the immediate, the biggest fire. The devil really is in the details on those days. If this is where you are, STOP! Take a loooong cleansing breath...now, take another. In all transparency, the above is really a reminder for myself. The last three and a half years of life have been...just, wow! There's been people found and lost too soon, the kids launching, quitting a job, putting plans on hold, understanding new relationships, living alone for a year, health issues and lifestyle changes, cleaning out 28 yrs of stuff, moving across the country, balancing family needs, and more. Decisions, so many decisions. But with the change of seasons (finally!), comes a moment to pause. To breathe. To reacquaint myself with...wel...

Just a Thought...

Search This Blog