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Pet fur and Belonging

We all know the moment.  Someone is coming to your house for a visit. Immediately you turn into a whirling dervish grabbing all the “stuff” that isn’t where it belongs while vacuuming like you are a Formula One driver.  Closet cramming and door slamming become full body workouts.  You run through the house spraying room deodorizer hoping it will cover your panic induced sweat.

When I did this I would often hear Marlin Perkins in his Wild Kingdom whisper voice in my head.  “Here we can safely observe the stay-at-home mom.  We don’t want to startle or spook her as she prepares for the dreaded visitor.  Isn’t it fascinating to see how she functions in her natural habitat?”

To clarify, I’m not talking about the house cleaning for sanitary reasons, or special events or just because it wouldn’t kill you to put all of your kids things in their rooms before your friend comes over.  I especially don’t include the picking up because my mom is coming over - she’s had enough years of looking at my mess, the woman deserves a break!  I’m speaking of the completely crazed “what will they think of me?!” cleaning that makes the rest of the family hate visitors and not have happy feelings about you either.

Admittedly it’s taken me a lot of years to get over this.  I was so focused on what others would think that I avoided having people over.   Instead of focusing on making a comfortable atmosphere for my guest, I focused on me and my image.  I denied myself friendships and others a safe place to be themselves because they might see that I’m not perfect.  Thank goodness wisdom and loyal friends are the benefits of age.

Somewhere along the way I realized I don’t enjoy people’s houses that are “museums” and perfect or at least I am not comfortable.  Don’t misunderstand me, I LOVE a well decorated house and a clean house.  But I also love the things that make a house a home.  A little dog hair, shoes out of place, a glass next to the couch, kid's drawings displayed on a fridge and pictures.  Oh, how I love to see what pictures people display in their houses.  It says so much about who they are and how they see life.

I have also learned that “perfect” houses usually contain “perfect” people.   I’m all for manners and politeness, but being perfect usually means you are covering up something you think is so dreadful that you believe people won’t like/love you if they really know you.  You are proper and formal to keep people at arms-length.  Generally, it’s successful because eventually everyone tires of people who are pretending.  In fact, it‘s kind of how we (my family) act when we are not sure we want someone visiting again.

Today if you come to my home, you will not find perfection, but I hope you will find comfort.  I pray that people (especially my kid's friends) see our home as a place that is safe, welcoming, honest and rather goofy.  I want our home to reflect our life, which is messy, a little loud, and kind of unorganized. Even more importantly I want our home to mirror our relationships, which are accepting, forgiving, opinionated, sarcastic, joyful, silly, funny, full of love and real life.

So, I say come on over for a visit.  We are willing to share our imperfections with you because we want you as part of our family.  And hopefully you will leave knowing that we love and accept you for you.

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